how to hug a girl

deep in the online thesaurus looking for gallery names a link came up on my page for the wiki how to hug a girl i couldn't resist
the directions are accurate? funny anyway, but i love the tips and warnings:

tips:

• Try to have good hygiene.
• Just do it; the rest will come naturally. If you make a mistake, try to recover casually and don't worry about it.
• As your relationship develops, you may hug more and more often. Experiment with hugs, but remember to keep them a shared experience and not a selfish indulgence.
• "Couple" status is not a requirement for hugging a girl, but you should at least be on familiar terms with her. Hugs between opposite-gender friends are often reserved for more significant moments, such as when parting before moving away, or returning after a long absence. Still, as long as you are respectful toward her, an occasional hug is probably fine. If it is too awkward for one or both of you, it may be best to avoid initiating one, but don't rule out the possibility of a hug being appropriate at some later point.
• Don't hold her too tight, so don't squeeze her. Hold her firmly enough so she's comfortable. Just give her a light squeeze.
• Some hugs are like a teddy bear, others are like a fortress. Sometimes they are both. Keep that in mind.
• You may want to whisper something in her ear while you're hugging.
• If you know your girl well enough, she may be flattered if you pick her up and spin her, but some girls do not like that.
• If you must pat her back, make sure you don't do it too hard. You don't want to hurt her! However, some girls are uncomfortable with back-patting and are unlikely to hug you again any time soon.
• BE GENTLE! Girls are delicate, however tough some may seem, they are delicate...handle with care.

warnings:

• Don't smother or grab her too suddenly.
• Don't touch her butt. Keep your hands on her back.
• Don't say anything to make her uncomfortable.
• Try not to have bad breath. Don't chew gum because you may plan to kiss when hugging.
• If this girl is your girlfriend, don't try to hug her 24/7 even if she seems to appreciate it. Kiss her for a change!
• Do not ever force a hug; girls may think you're weird.
• Don't move your face straight toward hers as if you're going in for a kiss; this might confuse her!
• If it is just a friendly hug, don't hold on for more than 3 seconds and laugh when you let go.
• Some girls may give a loud, involuntary squeal if you scare or hug them from behind. So, unless you know she won't mind it, don't sneak up on her. If this does happen, don't tease her about it unless you know her sense of humor well enough to be sure she'll take it well. In some cases, squealing is an involuntary body noise kind of like burping or farting—in other words, to some girls it's rather embarrassing—and responding with anything more than a smile might be interpreted as, well, mean.
• If you hug her from behind, she might think that she is being kidnapped, and you could be hurt in the process of hugging her.
• Do not play with her hair during a hug if you two are not "close". This may result in an awkward moment between you two and end up with you having to get close to her again. This can be an annoying gesture to the girl and the girl may think you are trying too hard to get her.